Couple problems:

1) Lord of the Rings Online.

2) I’m (hopefully!) buying a house this week, which is kind of over-stressing me.

3) Star Trek Online has been frustrating me lately. I’ve been comparing it to LotRO, and I’ve come to one inescapable conclusion.

That conclusion is simply that Star Trek Online was not ready for release; it needed (needs!) another four to six months of development.

Compare the amount of content between levels 1 and 30 in Star Trek Online with the amount of 1-30 content in Lord of the Rings Online (that’s well before you hit expansion territory). The difference is staggering.

Compare the graphics between the two games. Despite LotRO’s older engine, it offers far more appealing landscapes. STO’s levels are blocky, repetitive and… boring. Visually speaking, that is.

What’s more, the playable area in LotRO is… vast. You can literally walk for nearly an hour (not in a circle!) without hitting a loading screen. Start at Elrond’s place in Rivendell, and walk to Needlehole in the Shire… and that’s mostly east-west. There’s tons of area to the north of that path.

Compare that to STO, where you can traverse basically any playable area corner-to-corner in five minutes (assuming you ignore enemies shooting at you).

STO has space combat down pretty well, but ground combat leaves much to be desired, especially if you’re a solo player.

The more I think about this, the more I wish Cryptic (or Atari, whoever made the decision) had waited another six months before releasing Star Trek Online. They wouldn’t have fixed all of my complaints, but they could have improved a lot of it.

What it comes down to is that LotRO has so much more content to offer that I have a very hard time making myself choose to re-play old missions in STO instead.

At any rate, I just need a break from STO for a week or so. I’ll hopefully be moving to my new house a week from Saturday, at which point I’ll probably feel a lot less stressed out and hopefully return to my former full enjoyment of STO.

As we begin another episode of Let’s Play, we find O’Malley in his ready room shortly after rescuing the crew of the U.S.S. Azura.  What new adventures will Starfleet have for him now? (If you’re new, you might want to start with Episode One.)

I flop into my chair in my ready room.  I really need to find new bridge officers…  maybe a Klingon, who won’t object to just doing things the direct way.  I hear there are some ex-Borg in Starfleet, I could ask for one of them.  They value efficiency, right?

A hail from Admiral Quinn interrupts my musing.

“Just in time, no thanks to Tarah,” I grumble.  “But a new crew member for me?  It’s like you read my mind!”

“Don’t get too excited,” he replies.  “You should probably hang on to your existing crew.  You’ll need them.”

I sink into my chair.  “Yes, sir,” I reply weakly.

“I’ve got an important diplomatic mission for you.  We’ve got the Vulcan Ambassador Sokketh here at Earth Stardock; I need you to come pick him up and take him and his cargo to the Vulcan monastery at P’Jem.”

“Sounds easy enough,” I reply.  “Do you have any reports that the Klingons or Orions actually know about the Ambassador’s return?  You’re acting like you’re sure they’ll try something.”

“I don’t know,” he says.  “I suppose you’ll find out.  Good luck, Ensign.”

I stand up to head back to the bridge, and take a long, mournful look at the replicator.  Someday I’ll make replicated bananas taste right.

I’m about to leave when I receive a short text-only message from Starfleet Headquarters.  “We’re giving you a field promotion to Lieutenant.  Congratulations.  — Admiral Quinn”

[In-game, there's absolutely no fanfare when you automatically rank up from Ensign to Lieutenant other than Leonard Nimoy's voice saying "Congratulations".  Later rank-ups require a visit to Admiral Quinn and get you a little ceremony in the Stateroom.]

Wow.  He won’t even tell me to my face.

I walk out onto the bridge and order a course laid in for Earth Starbase.

[The astute observer will notice that this bridge is not the same as the Innovation's bridge from Episode One.  I remodeled two episodes ago, but lost those screenshots.]

I spend the return journey looking through personnel reports, deciding who is going to take Tarah’s place as my primary tactical officer.

So, I have two things to do while I’m at Earth Stardock.  First, I go talk to Ambassador Sokketh, who is waiting for me in the Stateroom.

“Ambassador,” I begin, “it’s good to meet you.”

“Yes, yes.”  He replies.  “You’re the one taking me to P’Jem, right?”

I nod, somewhat taken aback at his tone.

“Good.  It is imperative that these artifacts not fall into the hands of the Orions or Klingons.  They’d hold them hostage or use them against us in other ways.”

“What kind of artifacts are these, exactly?”  I start to worry that maybe someone had found another Stone of Gol, or something like it that would be equally dangerous in enemy hands.

“Oh, nothing important,” he says, “just some artifacts from the days before we were space-faring.  Purely of historic value, nothing more.”  He eyes me as if he’s daring me to question him.

I shrug.  “Alright.  Transport your stuff over to the Innovation; we’ll head out shortly.”

Next up, I need to recruit myself a Klingon tactical officer, and maybe an engineering officer.  As luck would have it, I find both:

Golrok, the Klingon, is quite eager to begin his tour of duty as my new tactical officer.  He seems pleased that he’s replacing someone else.

Two of Five, a Liberated Borg, has valuable experience upgrading equipment like replicators.  I’m sure she’ll be of use on my quest to make the perfect replicated banana split.  Oh, and she’s good with shields, so that should help if Ambassador Sokketh’s fears for this diplomatic mission are justified.

My tasks complete, I beam back to my ship.  “Set a course for P’Jem,” I order.  “Engage.”

Join us next week to find out what happens at P’Jem!

[This episode was a bit shorter than I would prefer, but I'm short on time...]

Welcome back to Let’s Play.  Last time, O’Malley explored Earth Starbase before embarking on his first assignment – to rescue the S.S. Azura.  Will our intrepid captain be able to handle this task?  Let’s find out!  (If you’re new, you might want to start with Episode One.)

Well I’ve used up my recreation time, so I’d better head back to my ship.  I beam back up, and head to sector space to look for the S.S. Azura.  Their last known coordinates are just a few light years from home:

We approach the coordinates as quickly as we can, and soon receive a short-range distress call:

Sounds like we arrived just in time!  I order an immediate approach.

As we get closer, we see that the Azura is under attack by Orion raiders.

There’s only one thing to do about that:

We blow them up.

The Azura looks pretty bad.  They’re venting plasma or something, and… oh yeah, their warp core is about to breach.  I suppose I should try to rescue the crew.

“Beam them out,” I tell my crew.

“Let me get this straight,” I say to Tarah, who has apparently become my second in command.  “We can’t beam them out because radiation levels are too high.”

“That’s right,” she says.

“Even though their warp core will breach soon, and they’ll all die, it’s still better to not beam them out.”

“Correct, sir.”  She looks at me like I’m crazy for even thinking of it.

“But it’s safe enough for us to beam in?”

She nods.

I throw up my hands.  “Fine,” I say.  “Let’s go.”  The engineer part of my brain – that is, all of it – is telling me her reasoning is flawed, but I don’t really feel like arguing with her.  We beam down to the Azura’s aft cargo bay.

We can see some crewmen lying on the ground to one side; I suggest beaming them out, but Tarah gives me an evil glare.  “Right…”  I say.  “Too much radiation.”  I roll my eyes.

[The mission never asks you to beam out any of the crewmen lying on the floor.  You don't get extra experience or a larger quest reward for doing it, either; it's just something you can do if you feel like it.  And, just a quick side note, if O'Malley looks slightly different in these screenshots, it's because it's not actually O'Malley; I lost my original screenshots of the S.S. Azura mission, so I had to start another character and redo the mission.]

She points at the plasma leak down the hall.  “If we can stop all the plasma leaks, that should lower radiation levels enough to let us beam out the crew.”

“Aren’t you a tactical officer?”  I ask.  “I’m the engineer.”  She doesn’t answer.

We walk down the hall and I poke around on the computer until the leak shuts down.

[That crewman is lying awfully close to the plasma leak.  I don't see how he could survive.  In Star Trek: TNG, plasma fires generate enormous amounts of heat, and the writers make a big deal out of it.]

We turn around the corner only to blunder into a group of Orion raiders.  They must have beamed aboard before we blew up their ships.  “They beamed in through the radiation,” I grumble at Tarah.  The raiders attack before she can answer.  We make quick work of the group.

[STO's screenshots include the strangest set of things.  They never include anything on the HUD, nor do they include any hovering text; but you can see item drops, shield indicators, and various other HUD-like things.  STO also tends to save screenshots in TGA format at random times, instead of JPEG.]

From here we can see two more plasma leaks, and the engine room:

More Orion raiders get in the way:

[That raider is in the middle of vaporizing.  It's hard to catch the animation at the right moment when I'm trying to shoot things too.]

Eventually we make it to the engine room, where Captain Brott waits for us:

“Alright,” I tell everyone, “the leaks are shut off, so let’s beam everyone out and get out of here before this thing explodes.”

Captain Brott has a different idea.  “I’ll stay here and keep the warp core from exploding,” she says, “if you take my crew to safety.”  She points at the two crewmen standing next to her.

“What about the rest of them?”  I ask.

“Oh, they’re probably dead by now,” she replies.  She turns to the console.

“But they’re not dead, they’re just…”  I trail off when I realize she’s not listening.  “Alright then.”  I tap my combadge.  “Innovation, beam us out.”

Tarah rolls her eyes at me.  “We have to get back to the aft cargo bay first,” she says.

“What?  Why?  You said we could beam out once the leaks were shut off!”

“I’m just a tactical officer.  I don’t know anything,” she says with a sneer.

I throw up my hands.  “Whatever.  Let’s go.”

Of course, more Orion have arrived from somewhere, and we have to blast our way through them.  I offer to give phasers to the two Azura crewmen following me, but they evidently prefer cowering in fear:

[Occasionally, NPC followers will help by shooting at things.  This is not one of those times.]

We stop by the downed crewmen and help them to their feet.  They beam out where they stand, without issues:

I open my mouth to ask why we can’t just beam out where we stand, but Tarah glares at me until I change my mind.  I can tell this is going to be a problem.  Maybe I’ll ask for a different bridge officer.

Eventually we reach the aft cargo bay again, leaving behind us a trail of transporter traces and dead Orion raiders.  Tarah has a self-satisfied smile on her face as we beam out.

[Player characters are the only characters that tap their combadge to beam out.  Everyone else taps their forearm near the elbow.  I've never understood why.  Nobody in any series or movie ever does it as far as I'm aware.]

Of course, the Innovation is already under attack when we get back.  We blow up some more Orion ships.

We’re about to fly away when Tarah reminds me to beam Captain Brott out of the engine room.  “Why couldn’t we all have beamed out of the engine room?”  I ask, almost in a yell.  She pretends she doesn’t hear me.

The Azura explodes shortly after we beam out Captain Brott.

“Good riddance,”  I say.  “I’ll be in my ready room.”

Join us next Tuesday for another Let’s Play Star Trek Online!

So what does everyone think so far?  Am I writing too much?  Are there too many pictures?  Too much of both?  Am I too boring, or too lame?  Tell me how I’m doing!

Welcome back to Let’s Play.  Last time, O’Malley wiped out some Borg, and now Admiral Quinn wants him to be a ship captain full-time.  How will O’Malley handle this new assignment?  (If you’re new, you might want to start with Episode One.)

Admiral Quinn asked me to return to Earth Starbase and see him about a ship commission.  I’m not too sure how I feel about that; I’d rather just stick with engineering.  He wouldn’t force me to be a captain, would he?  I guess I won’t know until we get there.

Earth Starbase looks pretty big:

We park the ship and I beam in to the lobby outside Admiral Quinn’s office.

Coming out of the transporter room, I turn the corner into the Admiral’s office.

[Keep in mind you come in to this room through that door, so you're facing the opposite direction from where the picture was taken.  Sulu is the guy with an "i" over his head, and Quinn is the guy on the far right.]

Admiral Quinn greets me as I enter.  “Ensign, welcome back to Earth.  You did great work against the Borg; we want to see more of that kind of thing while you’re in command of the U.S.S. Innovation.”

I clear my throat.  “Sir, I appreciate the offer, but –”

“Offer?”  He laughs.  “Ensign, this is an assignment.  Besides, now you’ll have a whole ship to tinker with.”  He taps a few buttons on his computer.  “I’ve authorized a retrofit of the Innovation, including some phaser targeting upgrades you’ll find useful.  You’ll want to speak with the Shipyard Headmaster to make sure the retrofits are done to your satisfaction.

“Three more things before you leave, Ensign.  A Bolian freighter has gone missing; speak with Malcolm Sissel in the shipyard for more information.  He’ll have its last known coordinates.  I want you to track it down.  An easy first assignment, I think.”  He waits for my nod, then goes on.  “Second, speak with Commander Akira Sulu before you leave my office.  He’ll have some other orders for you.”  He points across the room at Sulu’s desk.  “Third, take a tour of the station.  Make sure you know where things are and what resources are at your disposal.  Good luck, Ensign!”

I shake his hand, still bewildered at the barrage of information he just threw at me.  Well, first things first, I suppose; I walk over to Commander Sulu.

[For whatever reason, people have the hardest time finding Sulu.  It's the most common question asked by new players.  During the open beta it got so bad that Cryptic added a bunch of NPCs standing around the station whose job it is to casually mention where Sulu is every thirty seconds or so.  You can see two of those NPCs on the right side of the lobby screenshot above.  They just stand there staring at each other; every once in a while, they'll have a two sentence text-bubble conversation where one asks, "Have you seen Sulu recently?" and the other replies, "I think he's in Admiral Quinn's office."]

Sulu greets me with a smile.  “Congratulations on your new assignment, Ensign!  I need you to go out and stop by a few systems in the Vulcan sector, just to make sure nothing is amiss.  Simple enough, right?”  [Sulu is blinking in that screenshot, he doesn't have weird eyes.  I'll watch out for that in the future.]

I agree that it does indeed sound simple enough – simpler even than tracking down a missing freighter.  I take my leave of Sulu and head to the shipyard.

I speak briefly with the shipyard headmaster; he goes over the retrofit schematics with me and shows me what my ship will look like when it’s done:

[Edit: sorry, I lost this screenshot.]

Malcom Sissel is also in the shipyard.  I ask him about the missing freighter.

[I'm not sure why the title of this dialog is "Supplies for S.S. Azura".  Nobody ever mentions bringing them supplies; it's all about finding them.]

I assure him I’ll track down the S.S. Azura… as soon as I’ve found where they keep the synthahol on the station.  I need to relax after taking out all those Borg ships!

First up on my tour is Starship Requisitions.

This is where you go if you need a new ship, or if you want to requisition some high-end equipment.  They’ve got displays of all their ships up.  There’s also a model of a Danube-class Runabout on the table, but they won’t give me one.  Apparently only Deep Space 9 has them, and if I want one, I’ll have to go there to get it.

The next room is the stateroom, where Starfleet greets foreign dignitaries and holds various formal ceremonies.

The next room is the Exchange, where apparently I can sell anything I’ve found to other officers (in exchange for energy credits, of course), as well as access to my personal storage.

The Exchange has a nice view of Earth:

There’s a good view of Luna Colony from here too:

Last up is Club 47, where apparently someone has decided to stand on the table:

[That officer on the table is not a human player; it's a non-player (computer-controlled) character that for some reason has decided it should stand there.  The other three people next to her are also computer-controlled, acting as if nothing is amiss.  They're not acting drunk or anything, but it's more fun to pretend she is...]

Club 47 also has a laid back observation lounge if the common area gets too rowdy:

Well, I’m going to relax here for a bit before I head out to find the Azura.  I wonder if Club 47′s synthale is any good?

Join us for next week’s episode of Let’s Play Star Trek Online: Azura Rescue (for real this time)!

Well, I guess I’m in charge of the ship.  I head to the bridge and get my first overview of the situation in space.

It’s pretty bad.  Debris floats everywhere.  Damaged ships drift aimlessly.  I don’t see any Borg ships in the immediate vicinity, which is probably a good thing, since weapons and shields are down.  About the only systems that are functional are engines and navigation.

My first act as captain is an easy decision:

After all, my own replicators are broken, so why not take advantage?

Fortunately, I don’t have to decide what to do next on my own.  The U.S.S. Seacole hails, and asks us to beam survivors from several nearby ships and deliver them to the Seacole for evacuation.  Simple enough:

That task completed, I get hailed by the U.S.S. Renown.  Their engines are down, but they’ve got the supplies necessary to get my weapons and shields online again.  I’m to rendezvous with the Renown and get my ship repaired.

Turns out broken engines are the least of the Renown’s problems; they’re venting plasma, and their structural integrity field is on the verge of failure.  I hail them when I arrive, and they beam over the necessary supplies.

“Can I maybe get some spare crewman?  Or maybe a senior officer to command this ship?”  I ask, hoping I won’t have to command the Innovation myself.

“Sorry, Ensign, we don’t have anyone we can spare.  Now, once you get your weapons and shields back online, there are some damaged Borg spheres on the other side of the planet you can take out to test the repairs.”

The crewman at the con lays in a course, and we head to the other side of the planet.  Meanwhile, engineering crews have the weapons and shields back up in short order.  We soon encounter a pair of Borg spheres.  They’re certainly damaged; their weapons and shields are apparently offline, and they only have minimal engine power.  Good target practice, I suppose.  I order their destruction.

They’re destroyed easily enough; I try not to get my hopes up.  Real Borg spheres will be more trouble.  Sure enough, the crewman at Ops tells me there are some Borg ships repairing themselves in sensor range.  We head over to take them out.

Another Starfleet ship meets us there, and together we attack the spheres.  These spheres have functional weapons, however, so I keep my fingers crossed that the shield repairs hold out.  Soon enough, however, the spheres have been destroyed.

We receive a hail from the planet surface.  Commander Kelly wants me to beam down and help take out some Borg installations on the ground.  I motion for one of my bridge crew to tag along with me, and we head for the transporter room.

As soon as we arrive, Kelly looks disdainfully at my lack of equipment (and ignores my protests that I had personally tuned my phaser).  He points at a crate of phaser rifles.  I choose one at random, and he nods approvingly.

Alright, Ensign.  There are some civilians in that complex being held hostage by the Borg.  I need to you to rescue them.”  He points at a group of Borg surrounding a cowering civilian.

Hostages?  Borg don’t take hostages…  Kelly merely shrugs when I ask.  “Who knows why the Borg do anything?”

I look around.  Kelly is being guarded by several Starfleet officers.  “Could I get some help?”

“What, you want some of my crew?  I’m sorry, Ensign.  I need them to protect me.  I’m coordinating ground efforts here, and they can’t be spared.”

Sighing, I head into the complex and take out several groups of Borg.  Civilians run away the moment the Borg are distracted; they won’t even stop long enough to let me ask them any questions.

The last of the civilians rescued, Kelly contacts me via my combadge.  “There’s a Borg communications device being set up nearby.  I need you to disable it before they can call for reinforcements.  Kelly out.”

Sure enough, there’s a large structure being set up nearby by the Borg.  Several groups of Borg are patrolling the perimeter, and a shield has been set up protecting the main structure.

Well, if an engineer has any useful skills, it’s disabling computers, so there’s nothing but to go for it.

My crewmate and I take out several borg drones, then head for a computer console just outside the shield.  I figure out a way to hack into it and disable the shield; then we disable the transmitter from the console on the inside.

The transmitter shuts down, and Kelly contacts me again.  “Good job, Ensign,”  he says, “the transmitter is down.  I’m getting reports from Starfleet that a few more Borg spheres have arrived; you’d better get up to your ship and take them out.”

I’m just about to complain about having to do everything myself, when the crewman at Ops tells me several other Starfleet ships have arrived to assist.

“Fire,” I say, with as much drama as I can muster.

The Borg sphere barely finishes its transmission — We are the Borg, resistance is futile — before it explodes.

We’re busy celebrating when we get another hail.  It’s Admiral Quinn, from Starfleet Command.

“Ensign O’Malley, you’ve done well against the Borg; they appear to be retreating.  Have you ever considered command?”

“Sir,” I reply, “I’d much rather be an engineer.”

“I’m sorry, Ensign,” he says.  “You’re…”  He pauses.  “We need all the ship captains we can get, and you’ve actually shown some affinity for it.  Head to Earth Stardock for repairs; come see me in my office while you’re here.”

Why do I suddenly get the feeling I’m in trouble?

Join us again for next week’s episode of Let’s Play Star Trek Online: Azura Rescue (or: Innovation Renovation)!

Welcome back to Let’s Play.  We last left our hero as he beamed from his ship, the U.S.S. Innovation, over to the U.S.S. Khitomer to see how he could be of help.  What will he see when he beams in?  Will he ever be given a security detail?  Will he be forever stuck with his handheld phaser?  And most importantly, will he ever fix the food replicator in his quarters?

I beam into the sick bay of the U.S.S. Khitomer, not quite sure what I’ll see.  Turns out that, despite the Borg invasion, sick bay is doing pretty well.

There aren’t even any explosions or anything, though there are cargo containers stacked haphazardly on either end of the room for some reason.

Out the windows, I can see some crewmen fighting off Borg invaders in the shuttle bay.

Eventually I realize I’m supposed to be doing something useful.  I look around the room to see who might need help.  The EMH is standing over there, flickering as if his emitters are damaged.  When he sees me looking at him, he waves me over to him.

“Ensign!  I need your help here in sick bay.  I have no medical staff.  I assume you passed basic medical training at the Academy?”  I nod that I had.  “Good.  Go over and scan that injured man with your tricorder.”  He points at a man lying uncomfortably on a cargo container.

I’m about to comply when I realize that my job is fixing machines — like holo- emitters.  “EMH,” I say, “I’m an engineer.  Wouldn’t it better if I repair your emitters, so you can take care of these people yourself?  They probably just need to be realigned, it’ll only take -”

The EMH cuts me off.  “Ensign, I really need you to check on that man over there.”

I swallow the rest of my sentence, then walk over to the injured man.  He looks up at me briefly, then closes his eyes again and groans.  I pull out my tricorder and scan him.  Internal bleeding, a few broken ribs, a ruptured kidney… he could probably use a real doctor about now.  I walk back to the EMH and relay my findings.

“Thanks!  I’ll take it from here.  Now I need you to go across the hall and help Lieutenant Thalis repair the auxiliary computer.”  He points at the door across from the shuttle bay windows.  “I’ll be available over the com-link if you need anything.”

I raise an eyebrow at him.  “You can’t even move.  Are you sure you don’t want me to repair your emitters?”  He doesn’t respond.  Ah well; at least I’ll be able to put my engineering expertise to use in Auxiliary Control.

I give the injured crewmen a sympathetic look, then walk out in uncomfortable silence.  Fortunately, I don’t have to walk far; Auxiliary Control is literally across the hall from sick bay.  Down the corridors are crewmen fighting Borg invaders, but someone has thoughtfully put up force fields keeping the Borg – and the crewmen fighting them – out of sick bay.  I hope none of those crewmen need medical assistance.

Inside the room, Lieutenant Thelis is frantically pounding at the controls as if the ship’s safety lies in his ability to type quickly.  Looking at the hull breach behind a force field out the opposite door, I realize that might not be too far from the truth.  I walk over and ask how I can help.

“Ah, Ensign, I’m glad you’re here.  I’ve got the computer repairs under control, but do you see those Borg drones behind that force field?”  I nod, eyeing them warily.  They could figure out how to get through the force field any minute.  “I want you to beam them out into space so I can concentrate on these repairs.”

A grin breaks out onto my face.  At Starfleet Academy they told me it was an absurd idea to use the transporter as a weapon — and here I am saving the day doing exactly that!  I hum a little tune as I enter coordinates into the transporter’s targeting sensors, then watch the Borg drones fly out into space through a hull breach.

Lieutenant Thelis seems absorbed in whatever he’s doing on his console when I go back to him.  I offer to help him with the repairs — I am an engineer, after all — but he declines.  “But hey,” he says, “if you want to be useful, I think Commander Davis needs some help.”

I tap my combadge and contact Commander Davis.  “Yes, Ensign, I’ve got my hands full down here in Main Engineering, so I can definitely use your help.  The Borg have set up some devices on Deck 2 that are blocking our internal sensors and most of our communications.  I need you to go down there and destroy them.  Can you handle that?”

I grimace.  I really wish I had that security detail.  Going into Borg-controlled areas of the ship alone doesn’t sound very safe.  I take a deep breath, locate the turbolift, and head down a deck.

On Deck 2, I find that the Borg have appropriated a hallway and two adjoining rooms for their own use.  There aren’t many drones, though, so that’s a good sign.  Taking aim at one of the devices being set up by a drone, I cross my fingers that I didn’t screw up the wiring, and fire.

Much to my surprise, the Borg have built their devices using something highly explosive.  The drone standing in front of it is thrown several yards, and another quick phaser blast vaporizes it.

Taking heart from my successful phaser modifications, I proceed to blow up several other Borg devices.  I’m somewhat surprised — albeit pleasantly — that only one other drone shows up to defend their machinery.

Eventually I run out of explosive things to blow up, and I contact Commander Davis.  “Good, Ensign,” he says, “it looks like internal sensors are back online.  Are you up for helping me out some more?”

I get the feeling that’s a rhetorical question, so I don’t answer.  Sure enough, he doesn’t pause long enough for me to give one.

“Well, weapons and shields are down, and life support is on emergency power.  The bridge isn’t responding, so it’s up to us to get the ship operational again.  Think you can handle it?”

“I’m an engineer, sir,” I reply, “and I would love to help get your ship back in working order.”  I’m actually serious, too… it sure beats shooting Borg.

“Good,” he replies.  “Come down to Deck 3.  There may be some Borg in the halls, but make your way to Main Engineering as quickly as you can.”

I take the turbolift down another deck.  Sure enough, there are a few Borg drones milling about in the halls, apparently doing… nothing.  They aren’t even trying to access computer terminals or anything.  I’m beginning to wonder if they’re even active when they shoot at me.

With my trusty phaser, I take out the drones as I make my way down the corridor, and eventually arrive at Main Engineering, where some crewmen have set up a defense barricade, including a pair of phaser turrets.  There aren’t any Borg in sight.

I walk past the barricade into engineering.  Commander Davis shouts at me.  “Ah, Ensign!  We’ve got Borg beaming in here.”  Just then several Borg drones beam in.  “Help us!”

I turn around to go grab one of the guys at the barricade, thinking they can help, but Davis stops me.  “Where are you going?  Get down here now!”  He shouts between phaser shots.  Sighing, I dash to their defense point and try not to shoot the warp core.  Now would be a very bad time for my phaser modifications to backfire.

We defeat the invaders, and I head for a computer console to see what needs repairing first.  Commander Davis gets in my way.  “Ensign, I can get the warp core under control.  You should probably head back to your ship.  You can find the transporter room just down that corridor.”

At this point, I start wondering why they won’t let me near anything computer-related.  And why they want me to do all the dangerous work.  Surely nobody on this ship had heard about the incident with the holographic duck, so why would they not want me near their computers?  Besides, the duck thing was just a misunderstanding.

I’m feeling pretty dejected again as I walk to the transporter room.  My captain obviously wants to get rid of me, and this ship’s crew sees me as just some expendable loaner.  I nod at the transporter chief, who beams me back to the Innovation.

The moment I’m on board, one of the crewmen comes up to me.

I stare at her  not quite understanding.  Every officer is dead?

And I’m in charge?

I grimace at the crewman.  “We’ve got a problem,” I tell her.

Stay tuned for next week’s episode of Let’s Play Star Trek Online: My Innovation (or: Banana Pancakes)!

The majority of everything I write after this paragraph will be from my character’s point of view; if I have something to say I’ll set it off somehow so you know it’s me, rather than my character.  All of the missions I describe will be real, but my characterizations of various… characters… is usually completely fictional – after all, nobody wants to read a literal account of the game.  So, with no further ado, let’s play

The year is 2409.  The Federation and the Klingon Empire are at war, the Romulan homeworld has been destroyed, the Cardassian sector is in turmoil in the aftermath of the Dominion War, and… oh  yeah.

The Borg are attacking.

I’m Ensign Jason O’Malley, a recent graduate of the Starfleet Academy of Engineering.  Welcome to the mess hall of the U.S.S. Innovation.  I’m off duty, despite the Borg attack, which suits me just fine.  It has given me time to tweak my phaser.  That’s basically how I spend my free time… I’m always fiddling with one thing or another.  Last night I improved the efficiency of the food replicator in my quarters by twenty percent, and there aren’t any really bad side effects.  Unless you ask for banana pancakes.  Please don’t ask my food replicator for banana pancakes.  Or anything made with bananas, really.

But other than that, it’s perfect.  Just like this phaser here – it works perfectly.  I’ve only made minor modifications.  At any rate, it doesn’t matter.  I won’t get a chance to use it.  I’m the most junior officer on board, so it’s not like they’re going to ask me to go on any away missions or anything, and the Borg probably won’t beam on board to attack us.  Why would they?  That cube there is a thousand times the size of our little ship.

The captain interrupts my musings to summon me to the bridge.  Did I do something wrong?  I take the turbolift and go out onto the bridge for the first time.  There are a half-dozen officers manning the consoles, and a few people standing around the edges of the room chatting.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Ah, Ensign.  The USS Khitomer is on the main viewer.  I need you to hail them for me.”

“… hail them for you, sir?”

“Yes, hail them for me.  Are you feeling alright, Ensign?”

“Yes sir, I just, uh, thought maybe…”  I gesture at all the people milling around the bridge doing virtually nothing.  “Can’t any of these people do it?  I’m supposed to be off-duty, and I was planning to watch this old Earth movie called ‘Tron’ in half an hour -”

The captain cuts me off.  “Ensign, I gave you a direct order!  Now do your job!”  He waves his hand angrily at the console ten feet in front of him.  As soon as my back is turned I roll my eyes, but I do as he asks, pushing the two buttons on the console required to hail the Khitomer.

The Khitomer’s Emergency Medical Hologram answers our hail.  “We’ve been boarded by Borg.  I’m requesting aid from all Federation vessels in range.”  The EMH looks expectantly at the captain, who stares blankly at the viewscreen.  The EMH clears his throat.  “Captain?  Can you send someone to help us out?  We need someone to take out Borg drones, and I could use some assistance in sick bay…”

The captain shakes his head as if snapping out of a daydream.  He fumbles for an answer.  “Uh… Yes.  Ensign O’Malley, go to the transporter room and beam over to the Khitomer.  Help out their doctor, then assess the situation and see how you can help.”

My jaw drops to the floor.  “Sir, with all due respect, I’m an engineer, not a field medic.  I’m sure our own medical staff would be happy help, and I probably shouldn’t go beaming into hostile territory alone… ”

“ENSIGN!”  He yells.  “How many times are you going to question me today?  Go!  The security chief will authorize your transport.”

Grumbling under my breath, I stalk toward the turbolift.  Is he seriously sending me over by myself?  Maybe the security chief will have a security detachment for me.  That must be it – this must be a test of my command ability!  With this realization firmly in mind, I pick up my step and whistle a tune as I round the corner into the transporter room.

The security chief is leaning against a console, flirting with one of the transporter technicians.  I clear my throat to get her attention.  She gives an exaggerated sigh as I tell her what the captain wants.  “Very well,” she says.  “Step onto the transporter pad.”

“Could I maybe get some backup?  A security team, or at least some field armor?  A phaser rifle?  A medkit?”  She shakes her head at every request, her glare becoming more angry with each question.  Clearly she wants to resume flirting with the transporter chief.  Taking one envious glance at the combat utilities she has strapped all over herself, I walk over to the transporter.

She grumbles “Energize” as soon as I’m on the transporter pad, and has already resumed her flirting as I beam out.

Stay tuned for next week’s episode of Let’s Play Star Trek Online: Aboard the Khitomer (or: The Khitomer A-kills)!

When the game was announced, I was worried that Penny Arcade’s comic would reflect the gameplay; that is, I was worried the missions would feel contrived to prevent you from using the types of technology that make Star Trek what it is.

More recently, I’ve been worried that the writing would be terrible; the reason for this worry was that the developers, Cryptic Studios, did an absolutely atrocious job of writing in Champions Online.  (The fact that I still liked it despite the writing and terrible balance speaks volumes about how entertaining the gameplay can be.)

Instead, what I find is a surprisingly well-written, non-contrived set of missions.  Indeed the game refers to them as “episodes”, and that’s kind of how they feel.

Space battles are quite entertaining, especially when they get large – two dozen player ships fighting a bunch of NPC battlecruisers makes for an epic battle scene – and the little touches make the battles that much more interesting.  When an enemy ship explodes, you need to get out of the way; I’ve been destroyed more than once when my shields were low and I was too close to a defeated enemy when his warp core exploded.

Ground battles are, similarly, well done.  I had been worried because in a lot of MMOs you just stand there trading blows with the enemy; that’s not how Star Trek portrays ground combat.   Instead, you get a personal shield, and you can dive and roll out of the way of incoming shots, and you have an away team to help you.

I also like that group missions are automatically grouped for you.  Say you’re patrolling the Risa sector; the game automatically matches you with other people also patrolling the sector so you don’t have to sit there waiting for people in chat to say they need to do it too.  It makes perfect sense, and it’s so convenient.

The beta has some bugs; sometimes missions won’t complete, or the graphics glitch and you spawn in ground areas with the ship model instead of the player model (or vice versa, in space).  But these things should be expected during a beta.  In fact the most annoying aspect of the beta so far has been players complaining about bugs.  Guess what?  If you want a bug-free game, the beta is not something you should be playing.  There is a price for early access.  (The other annoying thing has been players not reading mission text, or not looking around.  The answer to “where is the Admiral’s office” is “right where you beamed onto the station, under the big sign that says Admiral’s Office“.)

As a result of the entertaining time I’ve had playing the beta, I pre-ordered the Star Trek Online Collector’s Edition from Amazon.  Now I just have until the game launch to decide whether I want a lifetime subscription; I’m leaning toward “yes”.  I’m having far more fun playing this than I had playing Champions or Lord of the Rings or any other MMO I’ve tried.

At any rate, once the game is officially released and (hopefully) the beta’s kinks are worked out, I’m planning to do a Let’s Play series with Star Trek Online in the spirit of Shamus Young’s Let’s Play Champions Online series (which itself was in the spirit of Rutskarn’s Let’s Play Morrowind series).  I’m hoping it will be an epic story of a young Starfleet officer’s efforts to defend the Federation, rather than a story about how a young Starfleet officer retired at age 30 due to nonsensical plots (as Shamus’ series ends).  This will be an experiment which may fail completely, but nonetheless I’ll try.