Well, on March 25, Ubisoft released a third game using their always-connected-internet DRM, Settlers 7.  The following day, users all over the world again started reporting a complete inability to contact Ubisoft’s authentication servers.  As far as I can tell, these problems still persist a week later.

So, Ubisoft, do you still not realize how stupid your DRM scheme is?  You’ve already lost your sale of Assassin’s Creed II to me; I’ve been curious about Settlers, but I won’t be buying that either, for the sole reason that it uses this insane DRM.

Ubisoft, does it matter that pirates can’t play your game, if your customers can’t play either? Do you really not see the problem there?

I’ll state this clearly, Ubisoft, so you can’t misunderstand: for the sole reason that they use this DRM, I will not buy your games, nor will I pirate them.  You cannot blame piracy for not getting my money – you have only your own DRM to blame.

Couple problems:

1) Lord of the Rings Online.

2) I’m (hopefully!) buying a house this week, which is kind of over-stressing me.

3) Star Trek Online has been frustrating me lately. I’ve been comparing it to LotRO, and I’ve come to one inescapable conclusion.

That conclusion is simply that Star Trek Online was not ready for release; it needed (needs!) another four to six months of development.

Compare the amount of content between levels 1 and 30 in Star Trek Online with the amount of 1-30 content in Lord of the Rings Online (that’s well before you hit expansion territory). The difference is staggering.

Compare the graphics between the two games. Despite LotRO’s older engine, it offers far more appealing landscapes. STO’s levels are blocky, repetitive and… boring. Visually speaking, that is.

What’s more, the playable area in LotRO is… vast. You can literally walk for nearly an hour (not in a circle!) without hitting a loading screen. Start at Elrond’s place in Rivendell, and walk to Needlehole in the Shire… and that’s mostly east-west. There’s tons of area to the north of that path.

Compare that to STO, where you can traverse basically any playable area corner-to-corner in five minutes (assuming you ignore enemies shooting at you).

STO has space combat down pretty well, but ground combat leaves much to be desired, especially if you’re a solo player.

The more I think about this, the more I wish Cryptic (or Atari, whoever made the decision) had waited another six months before releasing Star Trek Online. They wouldn’t have fixed all of my complaints, but they could have improved a lot of it.

What it comes down to is that LotRO has so much more content to offer that I have a very hard time making myself choose to re-play old missions in STO instead.

At any rate, I just need a break from STO for a week or so. I’ll hopefully be moving to my new house a week from Saturday, at which point I’ll probably feel a lot less stressed out and hopefully return to my former full enjoyment of STO.

As we begin another episode of Let’s Play, we find O’Malley in his ready room shortly after rescuing the crew of the U.S.S. Azura.  What new adventures will Starfleet have for him now? (If you’re new, you might want to start with Episode One.)

I flop into my chair in my ready room.  I really need to find new bridge officers…  maybe a Klingon, who won’t object to just doing things the direct way.  I hear there are some ex-Borg in Starfleet, I could ask for one of them.  They value efficiency, right?

A hail from Admiral Quinn interrupts my musing.

“Just in time, no thanks to Tarah,” I grumble.  “But a new crew member for me?  It’s like you read my mind!”

“Don’t get too excited,” he replies.  “You should probably hang on to your existing crew.  You’ll need them.”

I sink into my chair.  “Yes, sir,” I reply weakly.

“I’ve got an important diplomatic mission for you.  We’ve got the Vulcan Ambassador Sokketh here at Earth Stardock; I need you to come pick him up and take him and his cargo to the Vulcan monastery at P’Jem.”

“Sounds easy enough,” I reply.  “Do you have any reports that the Klingons or Orions actually know about the Ambassador’s return?  You’re acting like you’re sure they’ll try something.”

“I don’t know,” he says.  “I suppose you’ll find out.  Good luck, Ensign.”

I stand up to head back to the bridge, and take a long, mournful look at the replicator.  Someday I’ll make replicated bananas taste right.

I’m about to leave when I receive a short text-only message from Starfleet Headquarters.  “We’re giving you a field promotion to Lieutenant.  Congratulations.  — Admiral Quinn”

[In-game, there's absolutely no fanfare when you automatically rank up from Ensign to Lieutenant other than Leonard Nimoy's voice saying "Congratulations".  Later rank-ups require a visit to Admiral Quinn and get you a little ceremony in the Stateroom.]

Wow.  He won’t even tell me to my face.

I walk out onto the bridge and order a course laid in for Earth Starbase.

[The astute observer will notice that this bridge is not the same as the Innovation's bridge from Episode One.  I remodeled two episodes ago, but lost those screenshots.]

I spend the return journey looking through personnel reports, deciding who is going to take Tarah’s place as my primary tactical officer.

So, I have two things to do while I’m at Earth Stardock.  First, I go talk to Ambassador Sokketh, who is waiting for me in the Stateroom.

“Ambassador,” I begin, “it’s good to meet you.”

“Yes, yes.”  He replies.  “You’re the one taking me to P’Jem, right?”

I nod, somewhat taken aback at his tone.

“Good.  It is imperative that these artifacts not fall into the hands of the Orions or Klingons.  They’d hold them hostage or use them against us in other ways.”

“What kind of artifacts are these, exactly?”  I start to worry that maybe someone had found another Stone of Gol, or something like it that would be equally dangerous in enemy hands.

“Oh, nothing important,” he says, “just some artifacts from the days before we were space-faring.  Purely of historic value, nothing more.”  He eyes me as if he’s daring me to question him.

I shrug.  “Alright.  Transport your stuff over to the Innovation; we’ll head out shortly.”

Next up, I need to recruit myself a Klingon tactical officer, and maybe an engineering officer.  As luck would have it, I find both:

Golrok, the Klingon, is quite eager to begin his tour of duty as my new tactical officer.  He seems pleased that he’s replacing someone else.

Two of Five, a Liberated Borg, has valuable experience upgrading equipment like replicators.  I’m sure she’ll be of use on my quest to make the perfect replicated banana split.  Oh, and she’s good with shields, so that should help if Ambassador Sokketh’s fears for this diplomatic mission are justified.

My tasks complete, I beam back to my ship.  “Set a course for P’Jem,” I order.  “Engage.”

Join us next week to find out what happens at P’Jem!

[This episode was a bit shorter than I would prefer, but I'm short on time...]

Welcome back to Let’s Play.  Last time, O’Malley explored Earth Starbase before embarking on his first assignment – to rescue the S.S. Azura.  Will our intrepid captain be able to handle this task?  Let’s find out!  (If you’re new, you might want to start with Episode One.)

Well I’ve used up my recreation time, so I’d better head back to my ship.  I beam back up, and head to sector space to look for the S.S. Azura.  Their last known coordinates are just a few light years from home:

We approach the coordinates as quickly as we can, and soon receive a short-range distress call:

Sounds like we arrived just in time!  I order an immediate approach.

As we get closer, we see that the Azura is under attack by Orion raiders.

There’s only one thing to do about that:

We blow them up.

The Azura looks pretty bad.  They’re venting plasma or something, and… oh yeah, their warp core is about to breach.  I suppose I should try to rescue the crew.

“Beam them out,” I tell my crew.

“Let me get this straight,” I say to Tarah, who has apparently become my second in command.  “We can’t beam them out because radiation levels are too high.”

“That’s right,” she says.

“Even though their warp core will breach soon, and they’ll all die, it’s still better to not beam them out.”

“Correct, sir.”  She looks at me like I’m crazy for even thinking of it.

“But it’s safe enough for us to beam in?”

She nods.

I throw up my hands.  “Fine,” I say.  “Let’s go.”  The engineer part of my brain – that is, all of it – is telling me her reasoning is flawed, but I don’t really feel like arguing with her.  We beam down to the Azura’s aft cargo bay.

We can see some crewmen lying on the ground to one side; I suggest beaming them out, but Tarah gives me an evil glare.  “Right…”  I say.  “Too much radiation.”  I roll my eyes.

[The mission never asks you to beam out any of the crewmen lying on the floor.  You don't get extra experience or a larger quest reward for doing it, either; it's just something you can do if you feel like it.  And, just a quick side note, if O'Malley looks slightly different in these screenshots, it's because it's not actually O'Malley; I lost my original screenshots of the S.S. Azura mission, so I had to start another character and redo the mission.]

She points at the plasma leak down the hall.  “If we can stop all the plasma leaks, that should lower radiation levels enough to let us beam out the crew.”

“Aren’t you a tactical officer?”  I ask.  “I’m the engineer.”  She doesn’t answer.

We walk down the hall and I poke around on the computer until the leak shuts down.

[That crewman is lying awfully close to the plasma leak.  I don't see how he could survive.  In Star Trek: TNG, plasma fires generate enormous amounts of heat, and the writers make a big deal out of it.]

We turn around the corner only to blunder into a group of Orion raiders.  They must have beamed aboard before we blew up their ships.  “They beamed in through the radiation,” I grumble at Tarah.  The raiders attack before she can answer.  We make quick work of the group.

[STO's screenshots include the strangest set of things.  They never include anything on the HUD, nor do they include any hovering text; but you can see item drops, shield indicators, and various other HUD-like things.  STO also tends to save screenshots in TGA format at random times, instead of JPEG.]

From here we can see two more plasma leaks, and the engine room:

More Orion raiders get in the way:

[That raider is in the middle of vaporizing.  It's hard to catch the animation at the right moment when I'm trying to shoot things too.]

Eventually we make it to the engine room, where Captain Brott waits for us:

“Alright,” I tell everyone, “the leaks are shut off, so let’s beam everyone out and get out of here before this thing explodes.”

Captain Brott has a different idea.  “I’ll stay here and keep the warp core from exploding,” she says, “if you take my crew to safety.”  She points at the two crewmen standing next to her.

“What about the rest of them?”  I ask.

“Oh, they’re probably dead by now,” she replies.  She turns to the console.

“But they’re not dead, they’re just…”  I trail off when I realize she’s not listening.  “Alright then.”  I tap my combadge.  “Innovation, beam us out.”

Tarah rolls her eyes at me.  “We have to get back to the aft cargo bay first,” she says.

“What?  Why?  You said we could beam out once the leaks were shut off!”

“I’m just a tactical officer.  I don’t know anything,” she says with a sneer.

I throw up my hands.  “Whatever.  Let’s go.”

Of course, more Orion have arrived from somewhere, and we have to blast our way through them.  I offer to give phasers to the two Azura crewmen following me, but they evidently prefer cowering in fear:

[Occasionally, NPC followers will help by shooting at things.  This is not one of those times.]

We stop by the downed crewmen and help them to their feet.  They beam out where they stand, without issues:

I open my mouth to ask why we can’t just beam out where we stand, but Tarah glares at me until I change my mind.  I can tell this is going to be a problem.  Maybe I’ll ask for a different bridge officer.

Eventually we reach the aft cargo bay again, leaving behind us a trail of transporter traces and dead Orion raiders.  Tarah has a self-satisfied smile on her face as we beam out.

[Player characters are the only characters that tap their combadge to beam out.  Everyone else taps their forearm near the elbow.  I've never understood why.  Nobody in any series or movie ever does it as far as I'm aware.]

Of course, the Innovation is already under attack when we get back.  We blow up some more Orion ships.

We’re about to fly away when Tarah reminds me to beam Captain Brott out of the engine room.  “Why couldn’t we all have beamed out of the engine room?”  I ask, almost in a yell.  She pretends she doesn’t hear me.

The Azura explodes shortly after we beam out Captain Brott.

“Good riddance,”  I say.  “I’ll be in my ready room.”

Join us next Tuesday for another Let’s Play Star Trek Online!

So what does everyone think so far?  Am I writing too much?  Are there too many pictures?  Too much of both?  Am I too boring, or too lame?  Tell me how I’m doing!

I got it in the mail today.  I’ve played part of the single-player campaign now… and I have to say, it’s even worse than the reviews have said.

There is virtually no background given for what’s going on.  We’re given no explanation for why GDI and Nod have both, simultaneously, completely and fundamentally changed the way they do war.  The cutscenes are far worse than anything they’ve ever done before – atrocious acting, cardboard characters, awful script…  even Kane himself isn’t a very compelling character (though I blame the terrible writing, not Joe Kucan).  There is very little tying one mission to the next – contrast this with C&C3, where each mission has clear implications on what’s going to happen later on.

You can enable subtitles during cutscenes; I make a habit of doing this in any game that has the option, so I don’t miss anything.  Unfortunately, the subtitles in C&C4 are in serious need of proofreading.  There are numerous misspellings and typos, sometimes of the most obvious sort.  It’s obvious they didn’t do any QA whatsoever on the subtitles.

A minor spoiler: After you play the introductory GDI missions, you’re given a choice whether to continue with GDI, under Colonel James, or to join up with Nod under Kane… except it’s very unclear exactly what’s happening.  GDI doesn’t know Kane has betrayed them, and apparently GDI doesn’t realize you’ve left them for Nod.  Somehow.  Even though you no longer show up for work at GDI HQ.

Whatever.

The whole plot with your character’s wife is completely tacked on, cheesy, unnecessary, and stupid.  During the Nod missions, at one point, you inexplicably show some doubt about betraying GDI – and suddenly Kane is threatening your wife’s life in exchange for your loyalty.  Didn’t you already betray GDI?  Yes, you did!  You’ve already betrayed GDI, so there is no logical reason your character would hesitate about doing it some more.  The next few cutscenes don’t even mention Kane holding your wife hostage.  (This tacked-on feeling persists all the way through the final cutscene for both factions, believe it or not.)

The single-player missions themselves are extremely difficult solo, even on “Easy” difficulty.  Based on what I’ve played, I’d bet they’re far more doable in co-op; solo, you can’t really hold more than one objective point at a time, which makes objectives like “capture all five anti-air batteries” nearly impossible.  Your command point limit is absurdly low, and your tech level is consistently lower than that of your enemies.  One mission I beat by literally spamming Engineers to capture enemy Avatars and keep them healed while they took a beating from a large number of enemy units.

Other glaring issues with the game include:
- It freezes if you alt-tab during the video that plays when the game launches.
- The menu background is, quite frankly, garbage.  2-D sprites as ships, pretending to orbit by moving horizontally, and not even moving smoothly?  Why on earth couldn’t they even make the movement smooth?  It’s not exactly quantum mechanics!
- In stark contrast to every other C&C game ever made, the installer for C&C4 is a bog-standard Windows installer.
- The soundtrack has far too few songs; it gets far too repetitive far too soon.

I won’t even go into how unbalanced multiplayer is, but we’ve known that since beta.

Oh, and remember how I’m boycotting Assassin’s Creed II because of its “you must be online all the time” DRM?  Turns out C&C4 has it too.  If your internet connection drops during the single-player campaign, you lose any progress you’ve made.  Had I known about this, I would not have made the purchase, last C&C game or no.

Overall, my impression is as follows: “EA, why do you hate us so much?”

I can’t even make myself go back through this and proofread, let alone try to finish the single-player campaigns.

Welcome back to Let’s Play.  Last time, O’Malley wiped out some Borg, and now Admiral Quinn wants him to be a ship captain full-time.  How will O’Malley handle this new assignment?  (If you’re new, you might want to start with Episode One.)

Admiral Quinn asked me to return to Earth Starbase and see him about a ship commission.  I’m not too sure how I feel about that; I’d rather just stick with engineering.  He wouldn’t force me to be a captain, would he?  I guess I won’t know until we get there.

Earth Starbase looks pretty big:

We park the ship and I beam in to the lobby outside Admiral Quinn’s office.

Coming out of the transporter room, I turn the corner into the Admiral’s office.

[Keep in mind you come in to this room through that door, so you're facing the opposite direction from where the picture was taken.  Sulu is the guy with an "i" over his head, and Quinn is the guy on the far right.]

Admiral Quinn greets me as I enter.  “Ensign, welcome back to Earth.  You did great work against the Borg; we want to see more of that kind of thing while you’re in command of the U.S.S. Innovation.”

I clear my throat.  “Sir, I appreciate the offer, but –”

“Offer?”  He laughs.  “Ensign, this is an assignment.  Besides, now you’ll have a whole ship to tinker with.”  He taps a few buttons on his computer.  “I’ve authorized a retrofit of the Innovation, including some phaser targeting upgrades you’ll find useful.  You’ll want to speak with the Shipyard Headmaster to make sure the retrofits are done to your satisfaction.

“Three more things before you leave, Ensign.  A Bolian freighter has gone missing; speak with Malcolm Sissel in the shipyard for more information.  He’ll have its last known coordinates.  I want you to track it down.  An easy first assignment, I think.”  He waits for my nod, then goes on.  “Second, speak with Commander Akira Sulu before you leave my office.  He’ll have some other orders for you.”  He points across the room at Sulu’s desk.  “Third, take a tour of the station.  Make sure you know where things are and what resources are at your disposal.  Good luck, Ensign!”

I shake his hand, still bewildered at the barrage of information he just threw at me.  Well, first things first, I suppose; I walk over to Commander Sulu.

[For whatever reason, people have the hardest time finding Sulu.  It's the most common question asked by new players.  During the open beta it got so bad that Cryptic added a bunch of NPCs standing around the station whose job it is to casually mention where Sulu is every thirty seconds or so.  You can see two of those NPCs on the right side of the lobby screenshot above.  They just stand there staring at each other; every once in a while, they'll have a two sentence text-bubble conversation where one asks, "Have you seen Sulu recently?" and the other replies, "I think he's in Admiral Quinn's office."]

Sulu greets me with a smile.  “Congratulations on your new assignment, Ensign!  I need you to go out and stop by a few systems in the Vulcan sector, just to make sure nothing is amiss.  Simple enough, right?”  [Sulu is blinking in that screenshot, he doesn't have weird eyes.  I'll watch out for that in the future.]

I agree that it does indeed sound simple enough – simpler even than tracking down a missing freighter.  I take my leave of Sulu and head to the shipyard.

I speak briefly with the shipyard headmaster; he goes over the retrofit schematics with me and shows me what my ship will look like when it’s done:

[Edit: sorry, I lost this screenshot.]

Malcom Sissel is also in the shipyard.  I ask him about the missing freighter.

[I'm not sure why the title of this dialog is "Supplies for S.S. Azura".  Nobody ever mentions bringing them supplies; it's all about finding them.]

I assure him I’ll track down the S.S. Azura… as soon as I’ve found where they keep the synthahol on the station.  I need to relax after taking out all those Borg ships!

First up on my tour is Starship Requisitions.

This is where you go if you need a new ship, or if you want to requisition some high-end equipment.  They’ve got displays of all their ships up.  There’s also a model of a Danube-class Runabout on the table, but they won’t give me one.  Apparently only Deep Space 9 has them, and if I want one, I’ll have to go there to get it.

The next room is the stateroom, where Starfleet greets foreign dignitaries and holds various formal ceremonies.

The next room is the Exchange, where apparently I can sell anything I’ve found to other officers (in exchange for energy credits, of course), as well as access to my personal storage.

The Exchange has a nice view of Earth:

There’s a good view of Luna Colony from here too:

Last up is Club 47, where apparently someone has decided to stand on the table:

[That officer on the table is not a human player; it's a non-player (computer-controlled) character that for some reason has decided it should stand there.  The other three people next to her are also computer-controlled, acting as if nothing is amiss.  They're not acting drunk or anything, but it's more fun to pretend she is...]

Club 47 also has a laid back observation lounge if the common area gets too rowdy:

Well, I’m going to relax here for a bit before I head out to find the Azura.  I wonder if Club 47′s synthale is any good?

Join us for next week’s episode of Let’s Play Star Trek Online: Azura Rescue (for real this time)!

Well, I guess I’m in charge of the ship.  I head to the bridge and get my first overview of the situation in space.

It’s pretty bad.  Debris floats everywhere.  Damaged ships drift aimlessly.  I don’t see any Borg ships in the immediate vicinity, which is probably a good thing, since weapons and shields are down.  About the only systems that are functional are engines and navigation.

My first act as captain is an easy decision:

After all, my own replicators are broken, so why not take advantage?

Fortunately, I don’t have to decide what to do next on my own.  The U.S.S. Seacole hails, and asks us to beam survivors from several nearby ships and deliver them to the Seacole for evacuation.  Simple enough:

That task completed, I get hailed by the U.S.S. Renown.  Their engines are down, but they’ve got the supplies necessary to get my weapons and shields online again.  I’m to rendezvous with the Renown and get my ship repaired.

Turns out broken engines are the least of the Renown’s problems; they’re venting plasma, and their structural integrity field is on the verge of failure.  I hail them when I arrive, and they beam over the necessary supplies.

“Can I maybe get some spare crewman?  Or maybe a senior officer to command this ship?”  I ask, hoping I won’t have to command the Innovation myself.

“Sorry, Ensign, we don’t have anyone we can spare.  Now, once you get your weapons and shields back online, there are some damaged Borg spheres on the other side of the planet you can take out to test the repairs.”

The crewman at the con lays in a course, and we head to the other side of the planet.  Meanwhile, engineering crews have the weapons and shields back up in short order.  We soon encounter a pair of Borg spheres.  They’re certainly damaged; their weapons and shields are apparently offline, and they only have minimal engine power.  Good target practice, I suppose.  I order their destruction.

They’re destroyed easily enough; I try not to get my hopes up.  Real Borg spheres will be more trouble.  Sure enough, the crewman at Ops tells me there are some Borg ships repairing themselves in sensor range.  We head over to take them out.

Another Starfleet ship meets us there, and together we attack the spheres.  These spheres have functional weapons, however, so I keep my fingers crossed that the shield repairs hold out.  Soon enough, however, the spheres have been destroyed.

We receive a hail from the planet surface.  Commander Kelly wants me to beam down and help take out some Borg installations on the ground.  I motion for one of my bridge crew to tag along with me, and we head for the transporter room.

As soon as we arrive, Kelly looks disdainfully at my lack of equipment (and ignores my protests that I had personally tuned my phaser).  He points at a crate of phaser rifles.  I choose one at random, and he nods approvingly.

Alright, Ensign.  There are some civilians in that complex being held hostage by the Borg.  I need to you to rescue them.”  He points at a group of Borg surrounding a cowering civilian.

Hostages?  Borg don’t take hostages…  Kelly merely shrugs when I ask.  “Who knows why the Borg do anything?”

I look around.  Kelly is being guarded by several Starfleet officers.  “Could I get some help?”

“What, you want some of my crew?  I’m sorry, Ensign.  I need them to protect me.  I’m coordinating ground efforts here, and they can’t be spared.”

Sighing, I head into the complex and take out several groups of Borg.  Civilians run away the moment the Borg are distracted; they won’t even stop long enough to let me ask them any questions.

The last of the civilians rescued, Kelly contacts me via my combadge.  “There’s a Borg communications device being set up nearby.  I need you to disable it before they can call for reinforcements.  Kelly out.”

Sure enough, there’s a large structure being set up nearby by the Borg.  Several groups of Borg are patrolling the perimeter, and a shield has been set up protecting the main structure.

Well, if an engineer has any useful skills, it’s disabling computers, so there’s nothing but to go for it.

My crewmate and I take out several borg drones, then head for a computer console just outside the shield.  I figure out a way to hack into it and disable the shield; then we disable the transmitter from the console on the inside.

The transmitter shuts down, and Kelly contacts me again.  “Good job, Ensign,”  he says, “the transmitter is down.  I’m getting reports from Starfleet that a few more Borg spheres have arrived; you’d better get up to your ship and take them out.”

I’m just about to complain about having to do everything myself, when the crewman at Ops tells me several other Starfleet ships have arrived to assist.

“Fire,” I say, with as much drama as I can muster.

The Borg sphere barely finishes its transmission — We are the Borg, resistance is futile — before it explodes.

We’re busy celebrating when we get another hail.  It’s Admiral Quinn, from Starfleet Command.

“Ensign O’Malley, you’ve done well against the Borg; they appear to be retreating.  Have you ever considered command?”

“Sir,” I reply, “I’d much rather be an engineer.”

“I’m sorry, Ensign,” he says.  “You’re…”  He pauses.  “We need all the ship captains we can get, and you’ve actually shown some affinity for it.  Head to Earth Stardock for repairs; come see me in my office while you’re here.”

Why do I suddenly get the feeling I’m in trouble?

Join us again for next week’s episode of Let’s Play Star Trek Online: Azura Rescue (or: Innovation Renovation)!

Welcome back to Let’s Play.  We last left our hero as he beamed from his ship, the U.S.S. Innovation, over to the U.S.S. Khitomer to see how he could be of help.  What will he see when he beams in?  Will he ever be given a security detail?  Will he be forever stuck with his handheld phaser?  And most importantly, will he ever fix the food replicator in his quarters?

I beam into the sick bay of the U.S.S. Khitomer, not quite sure what I’ll see.  Turns out that, despite the Borg invasion, sick bay is doing pretty well.

There aren’t even any explosions or anything, though there are cargo containers stacked haphazardly on either end of the room for some reason.

Out the windows, I can see some crewmen fighting off Borg invaders in the shuttle bay.

Eventually I realize I’m supposed to be doing something useful.  I look around the room to see who might need help.  The EMH is standing over there, flickering as if his emitters are damaged.  When he sees me looking at him, he waves me over to him.

“Ensign!  I need your help here in sick bay.  I have no medical staff.  I assume you passed basic medical training at the Academy?”  I nod that I had.  “Good.  Go over and scan that injured man with your tricorder.”  He points at a man lying uncomfortably on a cargo container.

I’m about to comply when I realize that my job is fixing machines — like holo- emitters.  “EMH,” I say, “I’m an engineer.  Wouldn’t it better if I repair your emitters, so you can take care of these people yourself?  They probably just need to be realigned, it’ll only take -”

The EMH cuts me off.  “Ensign, I really need you to check on that man over there.”

I swallow the rest of my sentence, then walk over to the injured man.  He looks up at me briefly, then closes his eyes again and groans.  I pull out my tricorder and scan him.  Internal bleeding, a few broken ribs, a ruptured kidney… he could probably use a real doctor about now.  I walk back to the EMH and relay my findings.

“Thanks!  I’ll take it from here.  Now I need you to go across the hall and help Lieutenant Thalis repair the auxiliary computer.”  He points at the door across from the shuttle bay windows.  “I’ll be available over the com-link if you need anything.”

I raise an eyebrow at him.  “You can’t even move.  Are you sure you don’t want me to repair your emitters?”  He doesn’t respond.  Ah well; at least I’ll be able to put my engineering expertise to use in Auxiliary Control.

I give the injured crewmen a sympathetic look, then walk out in uncomfortable silence.  Fortunately, I don’t have to walk far; Auxiliary Control is literally across the hall from sick bay.  Down the corridors are crewmen fighting Borg invaders, but someone has thoughtfully put up force fields keeping the Borg – and the crewmen fighting them – out of sick bay.  I hope none of those crewmen need medical assistance.

Inside the room, Lieutenant Thelis is frantically pounding at the controls as if the ship’s safety lies in his ability to type quickly.  Looking at the hull breach behind a force field out the opposite door, I realize that might not be too far from the truth.  I walk over and ask how I can help.

“Ah, Ensign, I’m glad you’re here.  I’ve got the computer repairs under control, but do you see those Borg drones behind that force field?”  I nod, eyeing them warily.  They could figure out how to get through the force field any minute.  “I want you to beam them out into space so I can concentrate on these repairs.”

A grin breaks out onto my face.  At Starfleet Academy they told me it was an absurd idea to use the transporter as a weapon — and here I am saving the day doing exactly that!  I hum a little tune as I enter coordinates into the transporter’s targeting sensors, then watch the Borg drones fly out into space through a hull breach.

Lieutenant Thelis seems absorbed in whatever he’s doing on his console when I go back to him.  I offer to help him with the repairs — I am an engineer, after all — but he declines.  “But hey,” he says, “if you want to be useful, I think Commander Davis needs some help.”

I tap my combadge and contact Commander Davis.  “Yes, Ensign, I’ve got my hands full down here in Main Engineering, so I can definitely use your help.  The Borg have set up some devices on Deck 2 that are blocking our internal sensors and most of our communications.  I need you to go down there and destroy them.  Can you handle that?”

I grimace.  I really wish I had that security detail.  Going into Borg-controlled areas of the ship alone doesn’t sound very safe.  I take a deep breath, locate the turbolift, and head down a deck.

On Deck 2, I find that the Borg have appropriated a hallway and two adjoining rooms for their own use.  There aren’t many drones, though, so that’s a good sign.  Taking aim at one of the devices being set up by a drone, I cross my fingers that I didn’t screw up the wiring, and fire.

Much to my surprise, the Borg have built their devices using something highly explosive.  The drone standing in front of it is thrown several yards, and another quick phaser blast vaporizes it.

Taking heart from my successful phaser modifications, I proceed to blow up several other Borg devices.  I’m somewhat surprised — albeit pleasantly — that only one other drone shows up to defend their machinery.

Eventually I run out of explosive things to blow up, and I contact Commander Davis.  “Good, Ensign,” he says, “it looks like internal sensors are back online.  Are you up for helping me out some more?”

I get the feeling that’s a rhetorical question, so I don’t answer.  Sure enough, he doesn’t pause long enough for me to give one.

“Well, weapons and shields are down, and life support is on emergency power.  The bridge isn’t responding, so it’s up to us to get the ship operational again.  Think you can handle it?”

“I’m an engineer, sir,” I reply, “and I would love to help get your ship back in working order.”  I’m actually serious, too… it sure beats shooting Borg.

“Good,” he replies.  “Come down to Deck 3.  There may be some Borg in the halls, but make your way to Main Engineering as quickly as you can.”

I take the turbolift down another deck.  Sure enough, there are a few Borg drones milling about in the halls, apparently doing… nothing.  They aren’t even trying to access computer terminals or anything.  I’m beginning to wonder if they’re even active when they shoot at me.

With my trusty phaser, I take out the drones as I make my way down the corridor, and eventually arrive at Main Engineering, where some crewmen have set up a defense barricade, including a pair of phaser turrets.  There aren’t any Borg in sight.

I walk past the barricade into engineering.  Commander Davis shouts at me.  “Ah, Ensign!  We’ve got Borg beaming in here.”  Just then several Borg drones beam in.  “Help us!”

I turn around to go grab one of the guys at the barricade, thinking they can help, but Davis stops me.  “Where are you going?  Get down here now!”  He shouts between phaser shots.  Sighing, I dash to their defense point and try not to shoot the warp core.  Now would be a very bad time for my phaser modifications to backfire.

We defeat the invaders, and I head for a computer console to see what needs repairing first.  Commander Davis gets in my way.  “Ensign, I can get the warp core under control.  You should probably head back to your ship.  You can find the transporter room just down that corridor.”

At this point, I start wondering why they won’t let me near anything computer-related.  And why they want me to do all the dangerous work.  Surely nobody on this ship had heard about the incident with the holographic duck, so why would they not want me near their computers?  Besides, the duck thing was just a misunderstanding.

I’m feeling pretty dejected again as I walk to the transporter room.  My captain obviously wants to get rid of me, and this ship’s crew sees me as just some expendable loaner.  I nod at the transporter chief, who beams me back to the Innovation.

The moment I’m on board, one of the crewmen comes up to me.

I stare at her  not quite understanding.  Every officer is dead?

And I’m in charge?

I grimace at the crewman.  “We’ve got a problem,” I tell her.

Stay tuned for next week’s episode of Let’s Play Star Trek Online: My Innovation (or: Banana Pancakes)!

My opinion? We need more games of this nature before we can be sure.

I have been quite excited about the sequel.  It’s supposed to come out on the PC next month (it has been out on consoles for a few months already).  From all appearances, they’ve fixed all the problems with the original game’s gameplay, and refined and improved it, until what they had left was pure liquid awesome.

As it turns out, Ubisoft has decided on adding something else to the game: a horrendously draconian DRM scheme.  In order to play Assassin’s Creed 2, you must be online at all times.

What’s worse, if your internet connection drops at any time, for any reason, your game pauses until the connection is restored.  When this happens, Assassin’s Creed 2 will resume at your last checkpoint, which could be anywhere from five seconds ago to five minutes ago (if its checkpoints are spaced anything like the original).

Five minutes might not seem like a big deal.  But what if your connection is flaky?  What if you’re on a weak-signal wireless connection?  It could happen every five minutes.

What if you just don’t have an internet connection for whatever reason?  What if your ISP decides to shut down your connection for maintenance, or reset your modem remotely, or any number of other things that ISPs like to do which interrupt your connection?

It gets worse.  If Ubisoft’s servers go offline, you can’t play.  What’s more, if they go out of business entirely, you can’t play ever again.

And all this for a single-player game.

There is absolutely no reason for them to be informed of every moment I spend playing their game.  And even if they do want to know for some reason, the game could simply cache data until the connection comes back, and allow you to continue playing uninterrupted.

Anyway, I really, really hate invasive DRM, and this rates an 8 out of 10 on the “Invasive DRM” scale.  The only way it could be worse is if they installed CD-ROM-checking drivers even if you buy a digital copy.  (Other games are guilty of that.)

As a result, I’ll be boycotting Assassin’s Creed 2 — a game I was really looking forward to playing, at full purchase price — until such a time as they remove these measures.